Where Do We Begin?

As the new year rings in, I keep asking myself “what now?”

Basically, where does the cluster of 2020 end and the hope of 2021 begin? Clearly, as I write this post 3 days after the start of the year, I have been sitting in this state of perplexity for a while.

And to be honest, I’m not even sure I have a legitimate answer.

As of lately, I’ve had to quit fighting my feelings and start acknowledging them because life has really starting accumulating tumultuous things for me.

I have Pandemic fatigue.

I am constantly overstimulated by excessive media consumption which is almost unavoidable due to current events…leading to fatigue.

I have “balancing a new career” fatigue.

I have homemaker burnout and fatigue.

Maybe some seasonal depression.

Actual physical fatigue and generalized weakness brought on by the one thing we have all been terrified of for the last 10 months.

I have personal, extended problems that have left me feeling angry and overwhelmed.

With all of that being said, I want you to know that you are not alone. And if the new year doesn’t feel so “new”, well— you aren’t alone in that either.

So, again I ask; “Where do we begin?”

I am not a resolution type person. Like at all. I will not stick to a resolution as I never have in the past. However, I am a goal-oriented person. More specifically, short-term obtainable goals that don’t overwhelm me the moment I speak them into existence.

For example: my goal for the first week of the new year is rest and organization in the form of garden planning, house clean up/declutter, and tying up any lose ends from the holiday season.

I also love gratitude journals/moments at the start and end of my day. As someone who typically resides on the more anxious side, focusing on the positive things vs. any and ALL what-ifs can make a big difference.

And then, there’s the year-end recap. 2020 as a year in review has proven insightful yet difficult. We can make jokes of it all we want, but watching yourself evolve through the unprecedented, out of self-control events that occurred last year was…rough to say the least.

2020 started off feeling like MY year. Mentally, I felt stronger and more positive than I had in years. Physically, I was getting in slow and maintainable shape that was to be enjoyed while we set sail for a 7-day family cruise in March. Which never happened. Go figure, right? The first time in years I was excited to travel and the world shut down.

Once the pandemic hit, I holed up in the country, unemployed and not yet effected by all the negative emotions because I had this blog, my garden, and ample time to create and focus on anything that wasn’t public contact. I was filled with immense gratitude that I had a space to breathe and stretch, not negating the fact that so many others found such as task difficult or inaccessible. Why is that relevant? Because up until that point, I had been so slow to adjust to my new married home and it’s honestly this pandemic that catapulted me in a better direction.

Slowly but surely things begin to change.

As the year began to wrap up, I realized I wanted nothing more than normalcy. I wanted green grass, warm air, vegetable garden galore, and a beach trip.

What I got was sickness, cold weather, more rain than I like, and lots and lots of boredom.

2021–the year of new beginnings while still under the umbrella of “what the heck happens next?”. There is hope for the weary here, friend. Be it planting a seed, a cup of hot chocolate around the fire, or the discovery of a new book you can’t put down. There is hope.

As long as we can make choices for our future, there is hope. As long as the seasons continue to change, there are better days ahead.

Keeping this in mind is a good place to start our journey for the new year.

With love, Elizabeth.

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