Have I Really Found “The One”?


To state the obvious: Yes, I am engaged! 

What a surge of emotions that four word sentence sends through my body! It has been a month since the most exciting and shocking moment of my life thus far and what a month of bliss it has been.

Side note: NOBODY prepares you for the moment you verbally commit the rest of your life to someone! Not your parents, not television, not romantic books…you will find yourself sweating, stomach cramping, head spinning giddy the moment your significant other asks you to spend the rest of your life with them! Atleast that is how my body reacted unbeknownst to me. 

Side note #2: I WAS SO ELATED I FORGOT HE GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE… until I watched the video again. 

While the bliss still resides in my overjoyed heart, wedding planning is in full swing and my goodness is it stressful. Since the engagement, I have gotten a lot of questions regarding how I knew he was “the one”, if I knew he was proposing that day, and if I am “really sure” that this is what I want. So, if you are a young person reading this and still dreaming of your magic day; I will give you a little advice on choosing “the one”. If you’re married and have been for 1 year or 40 years…well, perhaps you will enjoy this perspective of mine! 

In regards to finding the one, here is a shocking tip: You do not find anything. You do not find the magic man, you do not find the magic relationship, and you sure do not find prince charming who is well matured and perfect in every single aspect possible. Think of this great phenomenon as a favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” While the scripture directly uses the word find, it is important to note that HE who finds…not SHE who begs, pleads, lowers her standards, exploits her body, compromises her faith, cries from wanting Mr. Bad Boy to just treat her right finds… HE WHO FINDS. One of truest sayings I have ever heard is, “Give your heart to God, and he will place it in the hands of someone he crafted just for you.” How crazy is that!? I can testify from my own personal experience, this is so so so true. For over a year I searched and compromised and worked so hard to prove my worth when my fiance knew my worth from the beginning! About a week and a half after I gave up drinking (I had just turned 21 and was under the misconception all I needed to do was try all different kinds and amounts of alcohol), partying, and searching for happiness in all the wrong places, my man walked into my life; unannounced and DEFINITELY unexpected. After one of the worst experiences of my life, I woke up and told myself I wasn’t going to allow anything to make me feel like I was worthless anymore. I spent that week and a half praying, going to a campus revival (that just coincidentally happened to be at the same time), and really evaluating where my life was headed if I continued on the path I was on. All I have to say is THANK GOD I did because wow the way my life turned around has been the biggest blessing.

Ya see, using a blanket term for a significant other such as “the one” restricts your ability to see past their imperfections to accept their best efforts. There is not a single human being on this earth who is so perfect that you never argue or struggle with. However, there is someone to grow with, learn with, and compromise with. I find it important to alter your perception of “the one” to more along the lines of “God’s Best”. I recently read a blog post by Mary Kate Robertson and wow did it open my eyes. She said that what we believe is best for our life, is not always what God knows is best for our life. This can definitely be applied to dating and marriage as well. Our ultimate goal in anything thing we do, and any relationship we have is to glorify God.

The bible tells us that God wants us to be equally yolked. If you find yourself pursuing a man more than you pursue God, you will eventually find not love but emptiness. Yet, if you are pursuing God with all of your heart and a man is pursuing God with all of his heart, then together both will lead each other in glorifying our Heavenly Father.

My fiance was different from any man I have ever encountered. He had a fire in his soul for God and everything God was, not what God had to offer. His beliefs were pure and proven through action and not just word of mouth. I was entranced, I wanted more. I wanted to be around this man whose heart had not been hardened or influenced by the temptations of the world. Instead he wanted to help me, to show me God’s love through his love, and work to prove to me just how valuable I had been made in His image. He prayed with me, for me, and together we talked about religion and godly lifestyles for hours at a time. He is not the one for me, he is God’s BEST for me. While I have chosen for him to be THE ONE person I create a life with, he is the best for making me smile on a daily basis, holding my hand through the hard times, and never letting me forget to put God first. What a blessing that is to grow with a man so good and pure. My man is the best at helping me with anxiety and shuffling through school and responsibilities. Together our lives are changing at a rapid pace, but he is the best person to be by my side through it all. He is the one I want to walk down the isle to, he is the one I want to cook Sunday breakfast with, he is the one I want to raise fur babies and dancing around the house in footy pajamas with, he is my greatest love; my best love.

After all, God does want what is best for his children. 

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