I am just a handful of days away from giving birth, 6 days away from gathering with family to celebrate my second favorite holiday, and a little over a month away from celebrating my absolute favorite holiday. All the while pacing myself as I transition my home from party of 2 to party of 2 and a newborn. Leaves are falling rapidly, temperatures are dropping lower with each day, and my heart struggles to keep up with all of the “as it were” and “what is to come”.
This fall season has been incredibly odd for me. I am a fall lovin’ girl through and through. It’s my favorite season filled with my favorite smells, foods, and celebrations.
However, I’ve found it to be incredibly hard to be in the here and now–appreciating all of the things that once brought me so much joy.
Maybe it’s because the best season for me this year will, without a doubt, be winter. Christmas more specifically as I will have the sweetest new born. All I’ve been able to picture for months is him napping in the glow of our Christmas lights, snug as can be, while our favorite holiday movies play in the background.
I can almost feel the quiet calmness that will settle around us in those first few weeks of bringing him home.
If I cared little about the consumer hustle and bustle that trademarks these next few weeks prior to this year, it’s really gone now. I care very little about anything more than a healthy baby, good holiday food, and quality time with my family as we welcome our newest addition.
I even went so far as to put a mini Christmas tree in his nursery so that if I’m rocking him to sleep in that space, there is still the warm glow of the lights to soothe what will likely be both of our cries. (That’s the new mom anticipating being overwhelmed feeling creeping in).
I’m really embracing all of the changes that have come about through this process and working hard to make sure I release the urge to control every little thing.
There is not a lot of control to be had when you’re having a baby, especially around the holidays.
The seasons are changing, my body is changing–preparing even, my mind is changing, and so is my heart.
All of which are welcomed change, friends.