I guess you could say there was a span of several years where I felt as if I were floating in space. I had a plan, but anything outside of that plan left me feeling anxious, uneasy, and on the verge of a break down.
These feelings did not subside once I got married. If anything they became worse.
It was not until I graduated college and remained unemployed for 6 months, leaving me with ample time to figure a few things out, that I realized I had found what grounds me.
In a lot of ways, being “forced” to take time “off” (due to a global pandemic and the job market crashing) was one of the BEST things for me.
During that time, my husband kept working as normal, because in his job there were plenty of ways to work around the newly implemented restrictions.
Which left me with a lot of free time.
Over time, I began doing little things to get me through the day. I developed a morning routine that was slow yet intentional.
I picked up a few hobbies I had been dabbling in like sewing and gardening. I also read books like they were going out of style.
Each day, my anxiety and mental health began getting better. I began to feel strong and independent but best of all I felt inspired.
I was confused. How could it be that I felt better and inspired as everything was shutting down and turning to chaos?
Because I had found what grounds me.
Without sounding too counterculture, I feel connected to myself and my surroundings in a way I didn’t think possible through gardening.
I’m forced to s l o w down and be intentional. As seeds or transplants leave my hands, I feel immense hope for what is to come. And I realized I didn’t mind if anything failed because though I was stagnant and unemployed professionally, I was learning.
I feel as though I became the best version of myself thus far. I began diving deep into holistic practices such as actual grounding, meditation, and journaling while growing our food. We didn’t feel afraid of what was to come because we felt secure with growing our own food and that was such an eye opening experience.
My husband began to see me laugh in ways he didn’t know existed. I felt adventurous and free.
After all, freedom is what we are all yearning for ; is it not?
So, I ask, “what grounds you?”