To be honest, I’m not even sure how I want to start this off. I guess the disclaimer should be that I chose to get married at 22 years old–emphasis on the word “chose”. As in, I’m not saying do as I did. Always do you, boo.
On the flip side of that statement though, I always tell anyone who asks, “Don’t be scared of marriage. I actually recommend it”. Take my words for what they’re worth, which is about a penny at this point but within the right context and with the right partner, I always encourage “the big step.”
About a year ago, when I first started this blog I started writing a post called “The Right Partner vs. The Right Person.”
As I was writing, I realized I kept going off in so many rabbit holes. My thoughts were all over the place and I felt I just wasn’t getting the point across.
So, there it sat in my drafts pile for almost a full year before I had the thought for this post.
Which is this: I chose to get married at a young age and in doing so I became the best version of myself. The word “best” can also be interchangeable for the meaning “who I feel as though I was meant to be”.
How many times do we hear statements like “Getting marriage at ____ age is like leaving the party at 9:00 o’clock p.m.”, “Don’t get married. It’s a trap.”, “But, like, what about your individuality?” So on and so forth.
It’s truly frustrating at times at the completely lack of support and faith in the sanctity of marriage. Because I’ve found my experience to be completely opposite of the nay-sayers.
Prior to my current relationship status, I flopped about much like a fish out of water. My interests were multi passionate to say the least (and still are) and I’m not sure I was headed in any one direction.
Getting married changed all of this for me.
Now given, I married a SUPER supportive husband. One who is equally as driven as I am with very similar goals in life. But not so similar that I find myself being squandered by HIS shine and HIS ambition. Do ya see what I am saying here?
We often find ourselves discussing our wants and “needs” in life which cultivates creativity and drive. For example, when we first got married I never dreamed we would be the couple who would want a chicken coop so bad we almost couldn’t stand it.
I also knew we wanted to “garden” but wow, if it hasn’t evolved into something so much bigger. We have dreams of a root cellar and potagers alike.
I guess what I’m getting at here is that being in a long-term, committed relationship such as a “marriage” does. not. have. to. be. scary. It actually doesn’t have to be anything negative.
I was very selective about my partner. It took me like 1/2 a date to realize he was unlike anyone from my past and I wanted him to be the only person in my future.
It is because he is innately good to the core, I work hard every day to undo any “negative” attributes I might bring to the table because I know he does not deserve that.
Now, will I always be a little hard-headed? Yes. Will I always have a little sass where there could be a little more sugar? Yes. But I’m 99% sure he wouldn’t have me any other way. And that in itself is so comforting.
(Maybe I should ask him about that last statement.)
I push myself to be better, in everything as if our lives depend on it. My relationship kind of turned me into a glass-half-full type of person when I think, unknowingly, I was a glass-half-empty kind of person.
So, chose THAT person.
Keep in mind, if YOU are that person for yourself and you find contentment and happiness in this–that is PERFECTLY okay.
I believe that for me, I found the best partner for me and then I was able to realize things and accomplish enough that I became enough for myself.
To each his own, right?
With time, I begin to feel more and more settled. Nestled, if you will, here in this little cabin filled with scuff marks on the floor from 3 fur lovies. Here where we have a mile long hiking trail around our back yard that could replay hundreds of conversations. Here, where I feel inspired.
Home is here and my heart agrees too.