As I have previously stated, my husband and I did not live together prior to getting married. This meant everything was new for me post wedding day; I had a new house which was and had been his house for roughly 4 or 5 years at this point, and a new way of living. It felt unfamiliar and much like a “man’s” home to say the least. But, throughout our dating life, we would at little touches of “us” to try and ease the transition into marriage.
I was scared and anxious to say the least because for the first time, it was me and my raising creating a life with my husband. I had so much to learn and what seemed like so little time to perfect it (HA, jokes right?)
To place things into perspective as to how dependent I was on my parents and their guidance and completely unaware of how independent I would be from them in marraige, I want to share one of the funniest moments that happened early on. I always tell this story to my friends and family who are soon to be wed because the principle of it rings so true.
So, upon having a “new” house meant having all of these responsibilities I had never even thought of when living at home with my parents. Lawn care, house maintenance, sewer problems, appliance upkeep, etc. ALL OF THESE THINGS that I was completely unaware of for 22 years of my life. Thus, when my husband tells me we need to paint the fence at the end of the driveway, I am sitting there staring at him like, “We need to do what?” Shocked and annoyed. Aren’t we supposed to be like dancing in the living room and living in pure marital bliss!? What are these yard chores you speak of?? Attitude aside, off we went– painting our fence, in the blazing heat, battling ticks for the next couple of hours. By hour 2, I was e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. and beyond tired– mainly due to the wretched heat. That is when it dawned on me, I am now and INDEPENDENT woman, not of my husband but of my parents command and IF I DON’T WANT TO FINISH THE FENCE TODAY THEN I DON’T HAVE TO…it was completely my choice. It dawned on me that this way MY HOUSE, MY RULES. I started laughing hysterically at the revelation and threw down my paint brush.
Y’all, I bet at this point my husband was very concerned as to who (maybe even what) he married.
I firmly stated my new perspective to my husband, justifying my actions and marched back down the driveway to our nice, air-conditioned home. Completely unapologetically, might I add.
Maybe I could get used to this married life after all?
Anyway, the point I was trying to make is you are -all of a sudden it seems- on your own when you get married and that can be a really challenging time for someone who has never essentially been on their own. It becomes a magnificent time of growth. Growth that happens so minuscule and slow that you almost don’t even recognize that it is happening.
Which brings me to something my husband and I did together, for the house, and I am so so glad we did.
The day before we got engaged (unbeknownst to me) we planted a rose bush that had been gifted to us. The date being June 10th. He has a ton of landscaping in the front of the house, so I thought nothing of it. Adding a new plant? Cool. Move along. At that point, it was nothing but a stick, a few leaves, and a small flower. But something so beautiful came of just this simple act.
Life moved in a state of chaos around us for the next year. We were deep into wedding planning, my senior year of undergrad, hubs working his full-time job, bachelorettes, studying for entrance exams, etc. We didn’t pay mind to our little bush. 3 days following the wedding, we returned home from Honeymoon pt. 1 and officially began our journey together. I was completely unable to sleep in past 6:30 a.m., probably still on the wedding bliss high, so when I woke after our first night in OUR home, I knew I needed to do something to try and soak it all in. This led me outside, around the house to go for a walk.
On my walk, I looked to my left and there is was. Our beautiful rose bush, bearing its first blooms. I was shocked at how oblivious I had been to my surroundings up until that point. It very much so seemed that the bush had bloomed these beautiful deep pink flowers overnight. Immediately, I wanted to pick them and create a center piece for our table for breakfast. After all, the hubs wakes up to a home cooked breakfast and fresh picked flowers on the table? Major wife goals.
So, knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about picking roses, I grab my shears and did what I could. Not saying I picked them correctly, but all I am saying is the bush didn’t die so #win.
Fast forward 2 years from the planting date and almost 1 year after our first morning in the house and it seems the rose bush has more than doubled, possibly even tripled in size. As cheesy as it may seem, I love correlating the growth of that bush with the growth and progression of our life together.
Plants and greenery truly help transform your house. It adds life and vibrance to your space that really help cozy things up. It is also a really inexpensive way to decorate both indoor and outdoor spaces.
We have shared this with other friends and they have planted Crape Myrtles or trees, whatever works for them and seem to love watching them grow as well. If nothing else, they serve as simple reminders and easily transport your mind back to a special day and time.
We have planted all sorts of things now. We have a whole garden, peach trees, and ample landscaping– all of which we love tending to in our spare time.
House chores have quickly become one of my favorite things to do with my husband. I cherish every moment of working together to beautify our home.
With love, Elizabeth.