It seems simple. You live life a little bit, you fall in love a time or two, that relationship ends, and you move on to someone new.
If only it were that simple.
Romantic comedies, love stories, and any other misconstrued depiction of how interpersonal relationships work leave out the gruesome section of reinventing yourself and having to break down wall after wall to that “new someone”. There may be many of you who have perfected this ritual, or perhaps you choose to stay walled up preventing yourself from getting hurt ever again. However, if you are anything like me, well, I know it sucks. I am a hopeless romantic; a true believer that without caring for one another the world would cease to exist as we know it. Dramatic? Cheesy? I know.
The task of letting someone in is no easy feat. It requires hours and hours of communication, second upon seconds of reassurance, and impacting moments that outweigh your every fear. Disheveled humans who have put their heart through some traumatic experiences know my reference to the word “fear”. It is not based around the possibility that someone will not like you. It is based on the notion that you will genuinely let someone get to know you, truly explore those hidden secrets and barely noticeable habits you possess, only to have them run as fast as they can in the other direction with no warning at all. Or maybe there was a warning but you were too busy actually believing in the person; so either way you were blindsided. There is also the possibility that you make progress in leaps and bounds until you suddenly remember instances from your past that left you crying, alone, to pick up the broken pieces yourself. (Keep in mind that it is in this chapter of your life you truly discover what you and your heart are made of. It lies beneath the endless snap-chats attempting to convince everyone you are perfectly okay. It requires you to dig deeper than the false smiles over coffee dates with your best friends and actually analyze your situation.)
Take the information I am about to say to heart…
Let the new person in.
Even if it scares you, even if they end up hurting you, even if every fiber of your being wants to run the other way like so many others have in the past…LET THEM IN. Spend hours upon hours telling them your every fear, spend every second of every day reassuring them that you notice they care enough to acknowledge your fears and hesitancy, and most certainly embrace the moments that, for a split second, cause you to smile or laugh. Oh gosh, I hope you get to experience that laugh that convinces you, you will have a six pack if you can ever stop.
Eventually, there will be someone who comes into your life, and wholeheartedly embraces you for every quirk and difficulty you possess. It might be in a month, it might be in a year and a half. It will also be when you least expect it.
Who knows, if you are the type of person who believes you do not need someone else to make you happy (which, you have a valid point and I agree with that perception); just know that your person could be in the form of a best friend, a companion, a pal to do life with. That is the beauty of humanity. We possess the ability to care about all different kinds of people in all different kinds of ways. You just have to allow yourself (and them) to do so!
Thanks for reading! Have a blessed and cheerful day!